Don't Call Me a Cougar!

Happy Tuesday Depth Explorers!  Today we have the special privilege of talking with Cassie Stewart, the female protagonist in my upcoming book.  Cassie Stewart’s story will be revealed in the upcoming release, “On Ellicott Street”.  Cassie lived her life blandly until she met Eli.

 What she wants you to know about dating a younger man and why she refuses to be stereotyped. 

Hi Cassie, your story is about to hit the world in February 2012, are you nervous?

• Yes, a bit nervous, not every girl wants their love story told for the world to critique.  However, I wanted my fellow women to know that living life to the fullest is about taking risks.  I know I’m certainly not the first person to say that. 

What kind of risks do you mean?

• I re-invented my life script at almost fifty years of age. 

That is daunting, congratulations!  How did you find the strength to be successful?

• Although I love Eli deeply, I must admit he was not the strength, he was only the catalyst.  I had to reach deep inside and pull my innermost dreams to the surface.  I refused to accept a mundane life and took a chance I could experience something more.  I mean, I got so tired of living in black and white- I needed vibrant colors to fully live. 

What kinds of changes did you make?

• I researched continuing education and found inexpensive courses in writing, cooking, current events, etc.  You name it, you can find something to spark your brain cells.  I contacted my public library for free seminars ranging from crafts to local volunteer opportunities.  I even stepped way outside my comfort zone and attended a free rock-climbing workshop at a local outdoor sports and adventure store.  I even took those silly online personality surveys and started playing more board games with my son, Joshua.  It's all about embracing ourselves and having fun, you know? Stagnancy leads to depression and I was knee deep in a sad mire before I chose to make changes.

Is it ever enough?  I mean, the older we get, the harder it is.

• What do you mean? 

Well, for example, let’s face it, women have insecurities that men refuse to consider.

• I see what you mean, my graying hair, wrinkles, and have I yet contacted a plastic surgeon?

Yes, that is exactly what I mean, sorry if it’s a bold question.

• Hey, I’m here to help, so, bring on the nitty gritty.  Yes, there are many times I look in the mirror and criticize every line, crevice, cellulite patch, gray hair, and wonder, how can anyone find me attractive.  Then, I look at my watch and realize I have somewhere to go and stop wasting time berating myself for the natural process of life.  I will never be as perky as I was in my twenties and yes, I should have cared for myself a bit more.  But, I could waste my days longing for something I’ll never be, or I can take everything I have to offer and embrace my existence.  People who love me surround me every day.  And, even if Eli was not in my life, my children make the world not only bearable, but, the most important reason for living life out loud.  What example would I be setting for my children if I felt sorry for myself all day?  Not a good one, I’ll promise you.  Anytime the pity party seems to take over, I imagine my own children picking themselves apart and it breaks my heart to think they would ever believe they were not good enough because of their physical gifts, or what they feel is a lack thereof. 

You seem to focus on your children?

• You bet I do!  My children are the root of my happiness.  I saw those kiddos from helpless infants to independent young folks and every day they continue to amaze me.  Pride is an understatement of how I feel about them.  So, again, when I settle in life and choose to be lazy, how am I showing them how to live?  I can either be the woman who changes my own tire and gets back on the road of life or sits and waits hours on roadside assistance.  I do not sit very well.  I always want my children to strive and move toward the best, if I show them otherwise, I’ve failed them miserably.

Okay, I have to ask, are you secure in your relationship with Eli?

• I’m as secure as a human ever is when they give their heart away.  Eli shows me daily how he cherishes me, and I choose to believe he is sincere.  We communicate daily and our relationship is the best romantic experience I’ve ever had because Eli made me a priority.  When I was single, one of my favorite quotes became, “you will never become a priority if you remain an option”.  If you think about it, that quote encompasses every aspect of our life, not just love. 

Thank you very much for speaking with me so candidly in our interview today.  I know you are a busy woman, so, I’ll leave you alone for now.  However, would you mind visiting with us again? 

• Certainly!  This girl likes to share her pearls of wisdom with the world.  Just make sure to contact me ahead of time, my calendar for living remains full, or else I would have very few pearls to share. ;) 

Yes, I know Cassie is a fictional character.  But, she very much lives in my mind, as well as the minds of many of my best girlfriends.  I hope you reach inside and find your inner Cassie, you will be forever changed in positive ways that will always make you smile.  Guys, simply tweak the pronouns and Cassie becomes an "Eli" and you can also make this useful for you as well.  ;)  However, never fear, Eli will be joining us soon in The Locker for the male perspective.
Thank you for joining me today in The Locker.  Please look forward to the release of "On Ellicott Street" in February.