Wednesday, October 22, 2014

My Mind is Going in So Many Directions!


10/22/2014

I’ve decided to use my blog not only to writing, music, and other facets of entertainment, but, also to share my journey. I’ve had significant health problems for almost three years.

Thank you for listening, periodically, I will have a new installment chronicling my journey-

SOMEWHAT STARTING OVER

I stopped and thought about the number of doctors I’ve seen since January 2013. As close as I can get to the numbers include:

3 Rheumatologists, 1 cardiologist, 1 vascular doc, 1 Ob/GYN, 3 neurologists, 1 oncologist, 1 gastroenterologist, 1 immunologist/allergy doc, 1 hematologist, one pain management doc, 3 orthopedists, one spine specialist, and three ER visits. I’ve given at least 200 vials of blood, taken 100 xrays, 3 CT scans, 1 MRI, and several urine tests.

I’m in a serious relationship with BC/BS.

I will say, and I almost hesitate to go out loud with it, but, I think I might be on the right track. Finally.

You see, other than all the problems I have, I’m a healthy woman. I’ve gained 30 pounds in 3 years, and I’ve had friends recommend supplements, workout plans, diets, etc. My blood pressure is getting higher, probably a result of weight gain and lack of cardio. However, I’m chronically ill inside the body of a healthy woman.

Thank goodness for the long health kick and exercise regimen I was on up until a few years ago. I only believe I’m as healthy now as I am because I geared my body up for battle. At the time, I thought I was training for triathlons and runs, but, it’s been much more important than that. I was training for everything I’m going through now and what I will go through in the future.

So, I’m changing the name of these installments, I haven’t found the perfect name yet. I’m pondering.

Today, I’m nervously awaiting the results of my colonoscopy/endoscopy from last Friday. My GI doc removed 2 polyps, biopsied the linear furrows/white specks in my esophagus, biopsied the inflammation in my stomach. Four biopsies, one impatient patient. I have a hiatal hernia, but, we are waiting on any treatment recommendations for the results. By my next post, hopefully, I’ll have something to report.

Until then…I’m plodding on.

 



Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Can a Letter Make You That Crazy? Tuesday Tales

Happy Hot Tuesday and welcome to The Locker. 

Today, I move to book two of my current WIP, A Game of Inches, for my Fantasy Leagues series. This week we write to the word prompt "letter". 


Now, mom had me concerned. Normally, she’s going out of her way luring me back to ground zero. I’ve turned down home cooking, money, vacations, you name it. I always had an excuse. I know it appears I harbor nothing but contempt and frustration for this female who birthed me. However, I must admit, right here…right now. I love my mother. I will always love my mother, no matter how weird she becomes. Neither of us can change the past. My indiscretions, insert heavy sarcasm, more than outweigh the burden of being Laverne’s spawn. We are at a stalemate in the game of hurting each other. I realize neither of us have the energy, nor the inclination, to continue throwing emotional daggers as one another.

Hence my deep concern she obviously doesn’t want me in our family home.

It became our family home the moment I felt unwelcome.

I pulled into the driveway. “Mom, I need to be home, just for a little bit.”

“Oh, corn nuts, fine! You promise not to say…”

I opened the door with flourish. “Not a single…” Dear baby Jesus in a basket. Or was that Noah? What the hell was she doing? I shouldn’t have made that promise.

Every flat surface was covered. If the surface was soft, there was something stiff like cardboard covering it. I stepped further into the living room. Bits, odd shapes, and tiny multicolored fragments scattered around. I had to be surrounded by ten thousand jigsaw puzzle pieces. “Mom?”

Laverne stood wringing her hands. “So, I have new hobby.”

“How…how many of these do you have going?”

“Oh, I don’t know, when I get stumped with one, I can go to another.”

I slowly nodded, smiling as much as my skepticism would allow. “You certainly have…options.”

“I knew it. I knew you would think I’m crazy.”

“I promised you I wouldn’t say a word. I won’t.”

“You can’t stop your body language.”

I closed my eyes, seeing fresh baked cookies, a Christmas tree, and our stockings by the fireplace. I casually glanced over. There were three puzzles in varied stages of completion on the tile in front of the hearth. I walked to them. “Holiday scenes and snow…” I looked at the box lids demonstrating the completed picture.

“Yes, I thought they would look good framed hanging over here for Christmas.”

Then, I saw it. The Letter. It was on the mantle. I reached out, touching it gingerly. I drew my hand back fast. “I like the idea of Christmas puzzle pictures.”

“The letter won’t bite you Lola-girl. Hold it for a while. Think about it.”






BEFORE YOU LEAVE ME FOR SOME OTHER AWESOMELY TALENTED WORKS, PLEASE CHECK OUT MY LATEST REVIEW! Here's just a snippet- "The main characters are realistic and draw the reader into their struggle to explore their feelings and build a relationship. With elements of love, friendship, erotic sex scenes, humor, romance, and a hint of suspense, this titillating tale fires up the senses to deliver an entertaining read."
Goodreads Ind'Tale Review Sexy Bea Spelling

Now head over to our main page for more responses to the word prompt "short"...;)Tuesday Tales Main


Thursday, October 9, 2014

Don't Put Me in Charge of Money - UGH!


Good morning!  I’ve decided to use my blog not only to writing, music, and other facets of entertainment, but, also to share my journey. I’ve had significant health problems for almost three years. Initially, a rheumatologist diagnosed me with systemic lupus (SLE) on June 19, 2013. However, the medication wasn’t working and I kept getting worse and developing new symptoms. So, after second, third, and fourth opinions, my neurologist believes instead I have fibromyalgia. 

In April 2014 I visited yet another rheumatologist who I hoped would be familiar with autoimmune disorders. Following an extensive intake during my initial appointment, I found a place where the doctor also listened to me. Based upon my blood work, the doctor believes I have Sjogren’s Syndrome. She also made the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and pre-lupus. I’ve never heard of pre-lupus, but, hopefully it stays in the “pre” category.

Thank you for listening, each week I will have a new installment chronicling my journey- Which is now more frustrating than ever. I test positive for ANAs in my blood, but, the lupus tests are negative. There are several varieties of autoimmune disorders, with different caveats and health variations. Learning to live with the unknown has become my routine. With worsening symptoms, I consulted an amazing oncologist, Dr. Gerardo Trillo at Texas Oncology.

DON’T PUT ME IN CHARGE OF MONEY

Yesterday was the annual volleyball Pink Out for breast cancer awareness and fundraiser. It’s a big deal, lots of fun, and we enjoy raising money to fight such a heartbreaking illness. I was in charge of concession duty for half a shift. I knew this for a few weeks, no big deal. My daughter game was at 5:30, and I truly believed one hour would get me there.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Feckin’ Dallas Metro traffic.

Then, get in my residential area, to find a MAJOR intersection that’s been under road construction for a freakin’ year, also had a light out. It was flashing red like a 4-way stop. Yep, traffic backed up for literally miles in ALL directions. My friend was messaging me that my daughter was looking for me. Where was I?  The game started…I felt like such a loser mom. Thank you Morgan for the updates. I do appreciate it. #village!

Needless to say I didn’t get to the game until 6:15.

I still had to stop by my house (on the way) pick up The Husband, and the gift basket I donated to the silent auction. Anyone who is running late and held captive in traffic understands the full on feeling of helplessness, claustrophobia, and road rage. I was cussing right and left in my car, with the windows up. No one needed to hear my rant, they felt the same way I did.

GRR

I saw my daughter play for about 5 minutes. They won the game. YAY! I tried not to let on I didn’t see much.

So, rush to the concession stand for my shift. Thankfully, The Husband offered to help, great guy. We also had a couple other helpers, so, wouldn’t be bad. Right?

Ummm, until I had to start adding and making change.

Yeah, that’s what this M.Ed. graduate just said. I graduated with a 3.6 GPA, I’m not a rocket scientist, but, I can hold my own in dinner conversation.

The first slam occurred when a lady ordered 3.50 worth of snacks and gave me a 50 dollar bill.

Blank stare.

WTF?

My brain turned off.

I initially gave her 41.50 in change.

No shit.

For real.

I look to The Husband, HELP.

We figured it out. That wasn’t the first one of the night. My brain fog graduated from remembering a grocery list to full blown blank slate. The reverse Tabla Rosa…things I don’t want to unlearn.

I even spelled a few easy words incorrectly yesterday.
 
I’ve invested in tons of pencils and electric sharpener for the day job.

No shit.

WTF?

#Sjogrens Syndrome sucks. Autoimmune diseases suck.

Was it the stress of running like a chicken with my head cut off? I don’t know. Strange that I suddenly couldn’t handle money, and, today, I’ve bordered on a migraine that’s gonna hit me tonight like a freight train. The tinnitus is on high volume today. I see a visit to my neurologist in the future. And, a Sjogrens specialist here in Dallas.

I went to yoga today. Yes, that helped. Thank goodness for Christina and her wonderful class.

Forward march…it’s all we can do.

 

 

Monday, October 6, 2014

Tuesday Tales - Ending up a Kidnapper Short

Happy Hot Tuesday and welcome to The Locker. We are changing it up. FINALLY Book one is with The Editor! TaDa! Boom!

Today, I move to book two of my current WIP, A Game of Inches, for my Fantasy Leagues series. This week we write to the word prompt "short". Poor Lola, she can't "catch" a break any better than I could catch a touchdown pass from Peyton Manning. shameless pun.


“Yes, Danika, I had a colorful childhood.”

“Colorful? That’s just stupid, Lola. You were sexually abused, physically abused, and emotionally abused. You have too much abuse in your past to ignore, hoping it dies an agonizing death. It's your inner voice, crying for help.”

“No, that would have been the sound of my youth meeting the reaper.”

“Still want to make jokes? I don’t see how.” She really had the brain of someone warped into a cult. Looking back now, I realize my parents exposed me to trashed up stuff. However, the more I hear from Lola, the more I feel I was raised by a model mother and father.

“I asked for most of it. Quit trying to blame other people for my horrible choices.”

“I don’t want to blame anyone. I want to help you move out of your crusty panties into the shower you haven’t seen in almost two weeks.”

“Did you know depression hurts, Cymbalta can help?”

“Son of a bastard.” I had to take a good hard look at the woman sitting in front of me. Lola completely regressed into some alter ego teenage rebellious personality. Funny thing was, I don’t believe she ever moved past those years at all. The suit, her business, success…those were facades. She learned self-preservation from a young age, but the ridiculous part? She didn’t need to. I don’t understand kids who make such shitty choices when they don’t have any real reason to do so. Lola put herself in harms’ way on purpose. It blew my mind. “Stop being a wise-ass. Maybe if you had taken some medication you’d be wearing clean clothes as a productive member of society.”

Lola picked at a very old manicure, chipping off like flat paint from an ocean side home. “As a lover, he fell short. As a kidnapper, he scared me witless."

Her words struck me cold, instantly giving me goosebumps. “What the hell, Lola. Were you abducted? Do we need to go to the police? For fuck’s sake, talk to me!”









BEFORE YOU LEAVE ME FOR SOME OTHER AWESOMELY TALENTED WORKS, PLEASE CHECK OUT MY LATEST REVIEW! Here's just a snippet- "The main characters are realistic and draw the reader into their struggle to explore their feelings and build a relationship. With elements of love, friendship, erotic sex scenes, humor, romance, and a hint of suspense, this titillating tale fires up the senses to deliver an entertaining read."
Goodreads Ind'Tale Review Sexy Bea Spelling

Now head over to our main page for more responses to the word prompt "short"...;)Tuesday Tales Main

Monday, September 29, 2014

Pretty Little Perverts...or Normal? Tuesday Tales

Happy Hot Tuesday and welcome to The Locker. Today, I again return to my current WIP, re-titled Split the Uprights for my Fantasy Leagues series. This week we write to the word prompt "pretty". I keep thinking I won't have another edition for Tuesday Tales from this book, but, I keep writing more. :) Danika and Finn still haven't made that connection...will they ever? 



Neither of us belonged here and we knew it. However, had we not made the stupid decision, the normally wrong decision to join this ridiculous club, we wouldn’t be sitting here sharing cheese dip and draft beer. Love finds a way. Love splits the uprights and scores the critical points. Love is the champion, the reason for the game. Love is way fucking bigger than the Lombardi Trophy and a thousand times as valuable. We might be the only two in this whole room to know the secret. I wanted to sit here forever. I had a feeling she had the same idea.
“Finn?”
My mouth momentarily wouldn’t work, like a log jam in a flooded river, too many words rushed to my tongue at the same time.
“Finn?” She leaned in toward me, a sense of urgency in her voice this time.
“I’m okay, got a chip stuck in my gullet.” I rubbed my throat. “I shouldn’t show off with a full mouth.”
“You are too cute. Everything you say or do comes from a place of authenticity. How do you manage that?”
“I never learned how to fake anything. I never wanted to.”
“I’m glad.” Danika scooped up the right amount of cheese on an equally perfectly sized chip. She hesitated before she brought it to my lips. I’m sure I looked like a dog eating peanut butter, only because she enchanted me with an unplanned move. Penalty, flag on the playfifteen yards…how about fifteen kisses, ref? Did I want her to think of kissing me as a penalty? She’s so damn pretty.
Shit, I’m twitterpated. 
The friggin’ bell rang, forcing me to get up. The next guy practically pushed me out of the way. “My turn with the good doctor.” He looked way too pervy.
Danika intervened with another chip, motioning me next to her. “We’ll talk again soon.” She shoved the chip inside before I started drooling. The drool had nothing to do with the melty cheese. She was the culprit. All I could do was nod. She laughed at me. I deserved it, she made me giddy.
Who the hell says giddy anymore?

I do.




BEFORE YOU LEAVE ME FOR SOME OTHER AWESOMELY TALENTED WORKS, PLEASE CHECK OUT MY LATEST REVIEW! Here's just a snippet- "The main characters are realistic and draw the reader into their struggle to explore their feelings and build a relationship. With elements of love, friendship, erotic sex scenes, humor, romance, and a hint of suspense, this titillating tale fires up the senses to deliver an entertaining read."
Goodreads Ind'Tale Review Sexy Bea Spelling

Now head over to our main page for more responses to the word prompt "curly"...;)Tuesday Tales Main

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Tuesday Tales Fall is Here- Don't it Make You S.A.D.?

 
 
Happy Fall Tuesday Tales? Today, I return to my current WIP, re-titled Split the Uprights for my Fantasy Leagues series. This week we write to the beautiful picture prompt below. Three hundred words...what can I set up for you? Did Lola actually kill herself?

Thank goodness Finn agreed to join me on this wild search. I couldn’t ask Eugene, I still haven’t figured that guy out. At least Finn had enough social filter not to blurt something inappropriate if we found Lola in a compromising position. Eugene might piss me off with his indifference. Maybe I should have called the authorities, I respected Lola enough at this point to track her down myself. Who knows what shape she would be in.

“You know very well what you're going to find in the depths of that place."

I don’t know what made Lola postal, clearly she felt the need to become a survivalist as some sort of self-preservation measure. “Look, Finn, something is so wrong with her, it could be medical.”

“Why the hell would she hole up in some abandoned barn? Lola is all about manicures, room service, and fluffy pillows. This is not where she would have a meltdown.” Finn stared at the building, bewilderment tensing every muscle. “I just don’t think she is in there.”

“I think you’re wrong and I need to check it out. You can stay here, but, be ready to dial the police.”

“You don’t think she killed herself do you?” Finn became ashen, blanching like an almond in the summer sun. “I can’t deal with that.”

All my life death was another part of the day. People became mannequins we simply moved from one place to another, sometimes piece by piece. Human puzzles filled dark black bags, waiting for disposal- no sense in making it more than what it was. For some reason, I couldn’t see Lola in one of those bags, it reviled and saddened me to think of disposing her to some sterile medical examiner. It was wrong, she deserved better than my normal day.
 

 
BEFORE YOU LEAVE ME FOR SOME OTHER AWESOMELY TALENTED WORKS, PLEASE CHECK OUT MY LATEST REVIEW! Here's just a snippet- "The main characters are realistic and draw the reader into their struggle to explore their feelings and build a relationship. With elements of love, friendship, erotic sex scenes, humor, romance, and a hint of suspense, this titillating tale fires up the senses to deliver an entertaining read."
Goodreads Ind'Tale Review Sexy Bea Spelling

Now head over to our main page for more responses to the word prompt "bloom"...;)Tuesday Tales Main

Thursday, September 18, 2014

5 Snowflake Book Review!!!! Colleen Hoover!


Book Review ***** Snowflakes!
 

Maybe Someday by Colleen Hoover Goodreads Maybe Someday

This 367 page book is the first I’ve read by Colleen Hoover. When I saw this book listed as a fan favorite, I decided to read her work and get a better understanding of who this author is, and how she writes.

It was beautiful. I’m proud to be a fellow Texan with folks like Colleen.

Ms. Hoover’s succinct writing style did not disappoint me. I like descriptors, good scene/character development, and closing a scene. She did a very good job of articulating and setting up the characters. I noticed one potential error, but, it was simply a mix up of words.

I appreciated how thoroughly she covered the life that a deaf person would face each day. The realism charmed me, and I was amazed how well she saw the perspective through Ridge’s eyes, even with the profound hearing loss. It was fabulous to see how well this character played the guitar and could put together songs. I will always admire the character in Ridge she developed.

The characters wove their lives together in a believable family style. The caring and generosity between them all made me smile more than once. I don’t even need to give away any spoilers, because the quality alone makes this book worth your time- just trust me.

I also like how she gave just enough details about the intimate scenes for a readers’ imagination. I would suggest this could be appropriate for the mature high school-aged reading crowd. Even when she did go into the small details, she set the image tastefully and modestly.

All in all, Ms. Hoover writes a believable story about a unique couple finding genuine love through an equally unique set of circumstances.  She portrayed an accurate description of the fear of what to do with their feelings. I could feel the character’s frustrations, infatuations, and just how intensely the human condition can affect anyone-regardless of their situation.
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