Monday, February 27, 2012

Break Up Remorse-Revisited


Break up remorse is buyer’s remorse in reverse.  After shopping and spending your electric bill on some space taker you’ve never in life seen before you put it in your cart, it’s hard when you get home and realize you actually have to take it out of your car.

“Can’t I take it back”, you think to yourself.  “It’s not too late, the charges will be reversed on my bank card before the electric bill due date”…Been there, done that and have several t-shirts and monogrammed handbags to prove it. 
Breaking up is very similar, and the thought of being alone rather than in a dead-end relationship may cause us to desperately cling to one more thing we do not need—in the closet or otherwise.  Get over it.  We do not have the right nor the privilege to play hide and go seek with a lover’s emotions.  Holding on out of selfishness is cruel. 
I’ve seen the result first hand. 
Maybe you are randy baby and know that relief is a text or phone call away.  You know you can call the human dangling participle formerly known as your GF or BF and they will indulge your selfish carnal need.  Maybe you hang around an extra few minutes, maybe an extra day, heck you have nothing better to do.  But, it all ends up the same, you take off without a kiss goodbye and scramble out of there inviting a speeding ticket.

You suck because he or she does it well…hmm…get that one?
When you are on the receiving end of poignant red rover red rover, do not fall victim to the horny whims of some merciless ex.  It will not end up well; you WILL end up listening to 80’s Chicago and Air Supply and somewhere in the middle eat an entire bag of Fritos, licking the salt from the bottom of the bag, much like an animal licking its wounds. 
Step away from the wolverine trap known as the “ex’s” (oh, and put down the second bag of Fritos.)

The giver or the receiver, either way, people are not disposable, no matter how much we wish they were.
Stop sucking; you have a better life to live than that.  Only when you find the one who reciprocally and generously sucks should you ever let your guard…or your knickers down. 

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