“I’ve got an idea, if you’d like to hear it.”
“You’re going to tell me the idea anyway. Whether I say I want to hear it or not.” Mom’s idea of dealing with life ranged from grassroots granola hippie methods to some of the most high tech advances in science. The eclectic way my mom approach life usually amused me. Today she sparked a bad nerve.
“How about a self-defense course?”
“You mean those classes we usually made fun of? You know the women that put themselves into helpless situations and we couldn’t figure out why they’d be doing that shit in the first place. I know to have my keys ready to unlock my car before I walk out of the store. I know to be aware of my surroundings. I know not to be in strange places after dark. Common sense trumps most of what they teach.”
“Oh I’m not talking about those run-of-the-mill self-defense common sense classes. I’m talking about jujitsu, krav maga, that sort of thing. I'd do it with you. It’s great exercise, amazing stress relief, and I believe it would be empowering.”
“I don’t know.” My standard response slipped out of my mouth so casually. However the wheels inside my brain began turning about the possibilities. She had such a simple suggestion, I’m not sure why we 'd never done it before. Especially seeing all the gruesome things people do to one another in the course of the job. “I guess it would enhance my pepper spray.”
“You could be your own deadly weapon. Like Chuck Norris.” Mom pulled a stiff-arm move.
“I’m not sure I could be feared as much as the great Chuck Norris. Not with my spaghetti arms anyway.” I lifted my arm to make a muscle, and realize just how much weight I’d lost. “Why didn’t you tell me I looked anorexic?”
“I gave you time to start the healing process, while trying to find a way to help you. I think this new regimen would really help, both mind plus body. That prick damaged your confidence when he attacked you, but it isn’t anything that you can’t repaired.”
“I love you, mom. I appreciate you gave me space.”
“Absolutely, I’m your biggest fan.”
“I’ll go with you to talk to someone who teaches this stuff. Let’s check it out before we commit.”
“I’ll get it set up.” Reaching for the chips, mom read my mind. “Now let’s share some chips and dip and talk a little bit about your love life.”
Was she really going to do this to me?
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