It's Only 600 Words and I Need Your Help! :)

Hello Everyone!

Today in The Locker, I promote my 600 word short, Barren Lands. Yes, just 600 words.  It's a flash fiction inspired by my courageous son. 



This truly is NOT a tale about infertile women

but, a serious look at how a young man deals with loss.


Right now, I have it published on Lulu and it is downloadable for FREE, yep, FREE. 

I really need reviews and candid critique.  I know you, all my friends, will be happy to oblige.  So, please take just a few minutes to check it out.  The piece is G rated, and suitable for just about anyone.  Especially anyone who has experienced loss, and not sure how to move forward from it.  Thank you everyone! 

http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/barren-lands/18636656

Comments

Erika said…
That was a great short Davee. It was well written and thought provoking. If you really would like critique, the very last sentence is a bit jumbled to me. The "not be too soon" part. But I like your writing style. It could just be a personal thing, I'm not sure. I even read it out loud.

Erika
November 16, 2011 at 1:54 PM
Davee Jones said…
Hi Erika! Thank you very much for the review and candor. I definitely appreciate that you took the time to explain. I think I was trying to combine mysterious, eloquent, etc and just became confusing with the last sentence. I will work on it in my future writings. :)
November 16, 2011 at 3:13 PM
LunaEllaAldora said…
Davee, I'd love to read and critique. I can't get Adobe Editions to open though, is there another format or place the story can be read? Thanks!

~Luna
November 16, 2011 at 6:24 PM
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