Monday, November 28, 2011

Santa in an Outhouse?????

Hello Depth Explorers....

I've been MIA from the blog for time to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday with my beautiful family.  I hope you all had an amazing weekend, and for my friends abroad and beyond the contiguous US who do not celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope the upcoming holiday season fills you with warmth however you celebrate.

Each year The Husband dwells on how to up the stakes for the outdoor spectacle otherwise known as the Christmas lights display. I think he purposefully waits for well after Thanksgiving weekend to size up the competition and see who on the block he will out-shine.
Yes, I add the stereotypical Clark Griswold image into the post at this time.  IMHO, it isn't the lighter side of Christmas without this classic. 
However, we also decided to represent the REAL reason for Christmas, by constructing a Nativity scene. The Great White Hunter--AKA, my son, Aaron, brought down some old wood and tin from an "antique" shed from the Ranch in Oklahoma to build the manger/stable scene, as well as hay to complete the set.  He fits the part of rugged GWH, don't you agree?  Oh, Happy Birthday, son, you are 23 today!  Let's all show some love here....
Back to topic....We believed we were on a roll with our Nativity scene...
Time to find our "participants".  My brother, Sam, was baby Jesus at a Christmas play back in 1984, so, when he volunteered again, although we appreciated the offer, a 6' tall baby Jesus might not fit in our cradle.
And, I'm not sure I could separate him from his new "girlfriend" to dedicate his time to the project. (You're welcome brother, for the most awesome of birthday gifts....a woman who won't speak her mind. bahahaha)
He has to get back to Stillwater anyway, where he is a Senior in college.  (shameless plug here for OSU, GO POKES!)
Our own kids are really too ADD to sit still each evening for a live Nativity, so, we opted for "artificial" actors. 
The Husband perused online and before he found anything viable, he found the ridiculous.

And, he found the "I guess if we absolutely HAD to...."



Because I live in the now, not the Amazon--we ship anything future-- I suggested we visit the store and buy something to bring home that day. 
Let the disappointment begin. 
We visited not one, not two, not three, but, five HUGE stores, that carry everything from condoms to celery to concrete and beyond. 
NOT ONE NATIVITY SET TO BE FOUND....oh wait, I digress, I found a few miniscule sets suitable for the desk, mantle, or coffee table.  Kroger came the closest with a fully lit Nativity, constructed of strictly lights and that "chenelle stuff", one dimensional-one piece construction.  Not really our vision.
SERIOUSLY FOLKS?????  If you want Santa on a surfboard, a proud peacock, Santa playing Texas Hold 'Em with his Reindeer, an oversized cowboy boot, penguins in an igloo, and yes, the classic--Santa coming out of an inflatable outhouse....


Then, you would be in luck.  We found more renditions of secular outdoor displays than we could shake a stick at.  But, NO Nativity.
Not even the cheesy plastic bubble-looking Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus. 



Nothing, Zilch, Nada
I realize there will be a mass of folks out here that shrug and say, "What's the big deal?"  Well, to us, the big deal is, without Jesus, there is no Christmas and the fact commercialism took over and took out the basic spirit of Christmas is more than appalling, it is very very sad. 
I'm no Bible thumper, but, have a faith more expansive than my current home state and hope that even in my raciest of books, posts, blogs, etc, you see my message coming through that Jesus is more than the reason for the season, He is the reason for MY life. 
I'm putting Christ back in Christmas at least in The Locker.  I hope He is present in your heart as well. 
Merry Christmas my friends!  And to all, a good night, I mean day!  And, wish us luck that we finally find an acceptable Nativity, even if it is for next year....sigh....
Peace

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

It's Only 600 Words and I Need Your Help! :)

Hello Everyone!

Today in The Locker, I promote my 600 word short, Barren Lands. Yes, just 600 words.  It's a flash fiction inspired by my courageous son. 



This truly is NOT a tale about infertile women

but, a serious look at how a young man deals with loss.


Right now, I have it published on Lulu and it is downloadable for FREE, yep, FREE. 

I really need reviews and candid critique.  I know you, all my friends, will be happy to oblige.  So, please take just a few minutes to check it out.  The piece is G rated, and suitable for just about anyone.  Especially anyone who has experienced loss, and not sure how to move forward from it.  Thank you everyone! 

http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/barren-lands/18636656

Monday, November 14, 2011

Author Sara York Writes-How I Lick My Balls - A Story of Schweddy Balls and One Million Angry Moms

Ok, today, I had to pimp my friend, Sara, on my blog.  She writes an excellent post about ice cream, overreacting, opening the doors of communication about sex, and why we should all take ourselves a little less seriously sometimes and just have FUN with life....take a look

http://sarayork.blogspot.com/

How I Lick My Balls - A Story of Schweddy Balls and One Million Angry Moms


Have you heard? Schweddy Balls is out in...Well some stores are carrying the delightful treat, Schweddy Balls, but because One Million Moms got all pissy about the name of the ice cream most stores aren't. I went to the Angry Moms site and read their claim about why they didn't want Schweddy Balls in the stores and their answer was -
The vulgar new flavor has turned something as innocent as ice cream into something repulsive. Not exactly what you want a child asking for at the supermarket." - One Million Moms.com 
Have to say that the flavor is not vulgar, rather good if you like rum.


Seriously, there are magazines with mostly naked women on the cover at eye level to your tyke when you check out of the store and you're complaining about a super small pint of ice cream that your child is probably not going to notice.

First let's address the issue of why the hell are you buying the expensive stuff for your toddlers? They don't need ice cream in the first place and unless your child is the next Einstein then they can't even read the label and if they can read the label then you already need to be talking to them about sex because if you don't someone else will. And you probably don't want the first conversation you have on the subject to be "Oh my, you're pregnant" or "Oh my, you have what sexually transmitted disease?"

In cartoons, Disney shows, and most definitely on Cartoon Network, sexual innuendo runs rampant. In the school yard and on the streets your kids are already talking about sex if they can read. If you're not talking to your kids about things like Schweddy Balls then someone else is and that other someone else isn't going to instill your values into the conversation.

I'm not just talking about lecturing kids. I'm talking about laughing with them over sexual jokes. *Gasp* Yes, I went there. Your kids are already making sexual jokes. They may not understand it but away from you, your little fourth grader is standing on the basketball court making a basket and yelling out "Wow, that was orgasmic." WTF - The kid doesn't even know what orgasmic really feels like or what to do with an orgasm and here they are talking sex. If you can't be silly and have fun about sexual topics with your kids then once your child has questions about sex where are they going to turn? To the person who makes them severely uncomfortable about sex or the kid down the street they've been laughing about sex with for the last ten years.

If you don't make sex a comfortable subject in your family then your child will talk sex with a person outside of your family who makes sex a comfortable subject.

Now the next issue. The Schweddy Balls skit from Saturday Night Live is funny, not disgusting. I can see why a lesbian might find Schweddy Balls disgusting, they just don't go there. But if you are a heterosexual female and you're a mom you've had your hand on some schweddy balls and if you haven't then why not? You should have explored your husband so throughly that you know how many hairs he has coming out of his butt crack. Sex is fun and exciting and should be enjoyed. And if you're a man, well you've had schweddy balls before so you're used to them.

Throw a little sexual foreplay into your dining routine and actually have fun. There's too much seriousness in life already. Get rid of your stuck up prudish ways and learn to laugh. Marriages don't end because the wife wasn't prudish enough, they end because too many women think sex is gross. Sex is beautiful. Sure, you may get a little sweaty and you might have some Schweddy Balls to deal with, but having sex brings you closer to your spouse. Learning to laugh about silly jokes like Schweddy Balls lightens your marriage so you can get through the tough stuff.

And the third thing I wanted to talk about is that the world doesn't exist so your child can have a Pollyannaish existence. If you don't want your child to see something or do something then don't bring it into your house. You don't like a certain TV network, then get rid of cable. If you just whined about *but then I can't watch The Real House Wives of Blah Town* then you need a reality check. It's not up to the world to grant your wishes about how you think everything should be run. If you don't want it in your house then you, yes you, should keep it out of your house. Don't make the rest of us suffer without Schweddy Balls because you've got a bee in your bonnet and you can't stand the fact that someone else is having fun and you're not.

After going to four grocery stores in our city I finally drove twenty miles to the Ben and Jerry's store to get Schweddy Balls. Then we as a family watched the Schweddy Balls skit and laughed so hard we cried. Why, because I want my teens to be comfortable talking about sex to me and because it was all day foreplay with my husband, texting him about my quest for Schweddy Balls and then before bed we had awesome sex that we'll be talking about for years.

I wish instead of the prudish one million moms trying to ruin the fun for everyone we could get one million moms who want to show their kids a balanced approach to life. One million moms who know that having fun isn't a detriment to their family but a fulfilling way to live. Stand up for fun, sex and Schweddy Balls.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Author Bonni Sansom is Here for a Visit!

Today in The Locker, we have author Bonni Sansom.  Her recent release, Jack's Christmas Wish, is now out for purchase.  It's a sweet tale with enough heat to turn this sizzler from heart-warming to heart-throbbing.  Bonni obliged me and stopped by to share a few words with me.  Thank you Bonni for visiting me.  Now, let's settle in with peppermint mocha coffee and get down to talking!

Hi Davee thanks for having me. First, I would like to start by introducing myself to everyone. I’m Bonni Sansom a full time mom, author and domestic goddess. I love to write hot steamy romance novels and my first release was on 11/11/11.

 Jack’s Christmas Wish was originally a short story that ran amok. The characters took me on a journey (Yes, they talk to me) that led me from a short sweet love story to a BD/SM steamy romance. They were quite adamant about their desires. But the gist of the story is Lissa is a woman that’s hit hard times and takes a job as Santa’s sexy helper in a department store. Derek the hero is a Dom and the widowed father of little Jack and Jack asks Santa for a new mom for Christmas. Through Jack, Lissa and Derek meet with an instant attraction that spins into a whirlwind romance.

I really enjoyed these characters. They were easy to work with and Lissa never ceased to make me laugh with her humor. Little Jack was such a joy to write, reminding me of my daughter.

One question that always comes up is “when did I know I wanted to be a writer”? I never knew I just wrote. It was just a natural thing for me. I’ve been writing since I could hold a pencil and don’t plan to stop. The first book I wrote took me about a year to complete, but I’ve gotten much quicker since then. On average I can crank out a book in about a month now. Since I’ve been writing professionally, it took me about three years to get published and I thank Sizzler Editions for that.

Again, ,it was a pleasure sitting with you and sharing my story with you. Thanks for having me.

I appreciate Bonni taking the time to stop by and give me the opportunity to share her story with you.  Thank you Bonni!!!!  We women enjoy having an escape from reality with a sizzling romance to take us away from the everyday, and Bonni's book is a perfect escape. 
So, My Locker Fans, Here is a surpise treat for you, Bonni is giving away a copy of her new hot release.  Comment below for your chance to win!   If you just can't wait to win it, the link below will lead you to Amazon for your opportunity to buy it!

Please let me know what you think about Bonni's inaugural book! 

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Charlie Sheen Got Nothin on Us

Wow, what a day.  We celebrated Veteran's Day one more day by running a 5k race this morning.  I very much enjoy the competition.  The Husband and I both received 3rd place medals for our age divisons.  I admit, running, cycling, and triathlons tend to be more competitive the further up in age I get.  But, the recovery period also becomes vital the older I become.  LOL
What a day, I don't even have the energy to write a decent blog today.  But, I'll make up for it later.  Take care everyone and I hope this weekend holds a nice surprise somewhere for everyone. 

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Honoring Veteran's and Something Else To Check Out

Good morning, What a beautiful Thursday, even better because it's my Friday.  BIG however at this junction though because, it would not be my Friday without Veteran's of the United States of America, so, big Thank You right now to everyone who defends our nation.  (and not thanking because i get the day off, either)

My grandfather was a Korean Conflict veteran, and the physical scars had nothing on the mental ones.  Sometimes, I wonder how men and women serve and retain their sanity.  It's a huge undertaking that not everyone can accomplish successfully, so again, my sincere thanks.

For my fellow writers out there, as a member of the Secret Cravings Publishing Yahoo Group, I became familiar with the site entitled ManicReaders.  I joined, however, have very little experience yet with this group.  Has anyone else joined this group?  If not, maybe you would like to check it out:

http://www.manicreaders.com/

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Just Sharing the Love

Good morning, today in The Locker I once again share the wonderful work of Heaven Liegh.  The reviews are coming in for her first book, The Demon Side, and from all the scuttle I see, it's certainly worth the time. 


I, too, have a first to report.  I finally downloaded the Kindle app to my phone and my very first purchase is, yep, you guessed it, this book right here.  I can't wait to get started reading so I can add my review to this growing list of stars and lulus and all other kinds of kudos. 
Our friend, Lisa, had beautiful words to share for Heaven, and please click the link below to read them too. 
It's the Christmas season, you know, time to share the love.  So, GET BUSY~  :) 

Lisa's Ramblings-She Says it Beautifully

Monday, November 7, 2011

Short Story Contest Link

Hello fellow bloggers!
Coming off a very busy weekend, but, only opened my computer once.  Sometimes life beckons, you know?
I like to use my blog to pass along opportunities to you whenever I can and today is no exception. 
Many of us enjoy the flash fiction genre, it's a mind bending quick roller coaster ride of a story, and a challenge to say so much with so little.  To that end, I invite you to check out this contest sponsored by Lulu. 
http://www.lulu.com/blog/2011/11/01/lulu-short-story-contest/?cid=110211_en_email_SHORTSTORY
If you have experience with Lulu, I'd love to hear about it.  Good, bad, or indifferent. 
Have a beautiful Monday and happy writing!
Typing like a true secretary....

Thursday, November 3, 2011

So, my friends and I are together once again for the Friday Flash Fiction. We use this picture and give our exact 100 word interpretation of what this says to us. What does this picture say to YOU?


Today, This Is What I See:

The overcast sky blanketed the sun’s rays from highlighting her physical flaws.  The low luminosity of the day was perfect for a nude photo shoot outdoors.  The glass of syrah did little to calm her nerves as she hoped he would appreciate her efforts as much as she deserved.  As her breasts scraped against the rough bark of the bur oak tree, she allowed her mind to melt into the feeling of the rope against her wrists, keeping her captive there.  The high of rope bondage always engaged her senses gloriously.
He would reap all benefits of her afterglow.

Please visit my friends with their sizzling interpretations as well. I promise you will not be disappointed. We also have a compiliation of these posts on our blog http://flasherfridayfiction.blogspot.com/.


Lisa Worrall: http://lworrall.blogspot.com
Patricia Logan: http://naughtypassions.blogspot.com
Lee Brazil : http://leebrazilauthor.blogspot.com/
Erika Pierce http://www.badassbookreviews.com
Lindsey Gray http://lindsey-gray.blogspot.com/
Heaven Liegh Eldeen: http://heavenliegheldeen.blogspot.com
Gemma Parkes: http://gemmaparkes.blogspot.com/
Bonni Sansom: http://bonnisansom.blogspot.com/
Sara York : http://sarayork.blogspot.com
Cyril j. Michael: http://authorcyriljmichaels.blogspot.com/
davee jones : http://finless.blogspot.com/
Venus Cahill : http://venusbookluvr.blogspot.com/
Muffy Wilson http://MuffyWilson.blogspot.com
Sherri Hayes http://sherri-hayes.blogspot.com/
Benjamin Russell: http://incubuschronicles.blogspot.com
Luna Ella Aldora: http://ellaquinnspirit.blogspot.com/
Havan Fellows: http://havanshawthaven.blogspot.com

Finish Today's Prompt....

"His better judgment took a back seat for once as he succumbed to the pleasures of self stimulation..."

So, what can you guys do with THAT?? 

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

I Won a Flash Fiction Contest!

Good morning friends! 
Each month, I check out a site called http://www.wakeupyourmuse.com/.  I enjoy the challenge to keep my mind sharp and write off the cuff.  If you are looking for methods to improve creativity, this just might be the ticket. 
This month's prompt: She looked hard at herself in the mirror, but this was not a face she recognized.
Deadline for this month's entries is
11:59 on Wednesday, November 30th. Winners will be announced by
Thursday, December 1st.

The contests are definitely vanilla, but, really a good time-- and I won this month!  Many thanks to Heaven Liegh Eldeen, as her description of a real estate agent, in her own work, assisted in my set-up of the story. 
Please see my short work-exactly 400 words, entitled, 'Sign From The Shower', to follow.  Enjoy!!
As they toured homes during the hot, sticky month of July, Matthew threatened several times to bail on the arduous task of finding the home of their dreams.  However, Emily’s determination to move before the baby’s arrival was unyielding.  By the third weekend in a row, they found themselves in a stalemate.  
“Ok, please, just come with me today, I need you on this one,” Emily begged Matthew.  “How can you enjoy trudging through stale-smelling homes, most of which have no electricity to even cool them down?”  Matthew replied grumpily.  “Today is the day, I can feel it honey, seriously, then, we won’t have to do this again for a very long time.” Emily widened her green eyes in his direction, and he knew he was a goner.  “Fine,” the effeminate word sounded very masculine coming through his gritted teeth. 
Matthew and Emily viewed the homes with the aid of a real estate agent; however, they insisted in riding separately from their agent.  Matthew thought the woman wore excessively too much perfume for 100-degree weather and it choked him.
Mid-day on that last day, they pulled up to an oversized cottage on the outskirts of town. “Honey, what do you think?”  She asked Matthew excitedly.  Matthew held little enthusiasm as he replied, “Ahhh, looks like every other one so far, let’s go in and get this over with.” 
They walked through each room and evaluated the artisanship, the decorating, and the layout.  Emily looked out of the windows toward the garden and landscaping that surrounded the home. 
It was hot in the home, as the owners locked the windows.  Sweat poured down each of their faces and the agent decided to step outside to take a breather.  “You’re choking on your perfume, aren’t you,” Matthew laughed to himself.  Out of curiosity, he flipped a switch and a ceiling fan began to spin. 
“What do you know, Emily, electricity!”  Matthew took delight in what most normally take for granted.  He found it refreshing this particular summer day.  He wandered off by himself as Emily continued to evaluate the home.  Then, a curious noise captured her attention.  She could hear the shower running, so she knew it was now or never.
She walked in to find Matthew stripped naked standing under a cold running shower.  “I think we found our sign honey, the utilities are on, I’m cooling off- let’s buy it!”