Just Out of My Grasp - My Personal Journey with SLE

Ahoy Fellow Fathomers, I’ve decided to use my blog not only to writing, music, and other facets of entertainment, but, also to share my journey. I found out on June 19, 2013 the reason for many of my ongoing health problems is because I have systemic lupus, also known as SLE.
Thank you for listening, each week I will have a new installment chronicling my journey. Please, please feel free to comment, write, share. I hope to use this forum as a help to all of us, no matter what pain you are experiencing. You may also send stories to me via finlessbook at gmail dot com. I will respect your privacy and maintain your anonymity, if you so desire.
Hugs for today …

I’m working out like crazy and keep gaining weight. If anything I feel bloated. Gah, this seems to have started Labor Day 2010. I remember eating Oreo cookies, hot dogs, and hot cocoa while camping and figured it would do me in.
I gained about five pounds that I could never shed.
Five pounds, pushaw you might say.
Well, five pounds per year on a person adds up pretty darn quick. Plus, it didn’t feel like “regular” weight. I felt like I had a layer of something besides fat between the muscle and skin. I couldn’t explain it, but, I kept envisioning a stuffed sausage wanting to burst at the ends, but, that darn casing kept it squashed inside.
As my friend Melissa says, “I felt like a busted can of biscuits.”
The weight gain continued even though my workouts continued. Even stranger were my food cravings for comfort foods- those high carb Southern delights that keep Spanx in business. It was like my body was fighting getting sick and carb loading for a major health battle. I tried to fight the cravings and sometimes successful. But, when I wasn’t I berated myself and sometimes added workouts to even the calorie score and tilt it back in a negative direction.
The old “muscle weighs more than fat” didn’t apply here. So, that wasn’t it. Something else kept me out of whack.
My annual well woman exams in 2011 and 2012 revealed no thyroid issues, no early menopause, and no other cause for my symptoms of fatigue, weight gain, lethargy, pain, and anything else odd that happen to strike.
What else could it be? I kept getting told, you’re just getting older and not eating right.
I tried harder.

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